How To Save Your Dating Life From Immature Dating Habits
You’re recently single/divorced/widowed/separated, and are back on the dating market. You have already set up dating profiles on several dating websites (for our favorites, check out these reviews). However, it has not been smooth sailing. Yes, you are getting invites, you’ve chatted with several people, and you have found yourself getting close to several potential mates. However, for some reason, after the first one or two dates, most of these people seem to forget about you completely. If it had happened with just one or two people, you could have considered it just plain bad luck. But now, a quick look back shows that almost every date you have selected has stopped dating you, and declined your repeat invites. Time for a review!
Troubleshooting Your Dating Life
It is good that you have finally noticed that something was going wrong with your dating life. Now, there can be many reasons for these rejections. However, a higher-than-normal rejection rate can be a challenge. It means that you are actively doing something wrong, and it is affecting your dating life. Therefore, before going any further, let us look at the most common mistakes made by new daters while entering the dating market or while using dating websites for the first time.
Do Not Kill the Fun
The first few days of any relationship are fun. This is when you are finding out more about each other, and you are willing to dress better, look good, and make an effort to impress the person. As a result, most people do make an effort to be fun and interesting and they try to interact more with their potential dates. However, some people make the mistake of not putting in any effort at all! Remember, this is not going to attract a mate. If your date gets bored on the first date, there is a very good chance that they will not call back for a second date.
Take a good look at yourself. Sometimes, you might be unconsciously behaving badly, and this might be putting your date off. For example, do you drink too much when you are nervous? Or, are you a ferocious gossip? Are you arrogant about yourself? Or, do you talk aggressively with other people? It is important to be fun and interesting on a date, but it is also necessary to tone down tacky or sloppy behavior so that your date will give you a chance.
You might have sent an invite to a person, and they declined, but you really, really, liked them, and sent them another invite. Then you followed it up with an email, a message, and yet more emails without getting a reply. Wait! Stop right there. What you are doing is considered Internet stalking. It is tempting to contact a person repeatedly until they reply, but if he or she does not reply, move on graciously and find someone else.
Pressing for Commitment
Online dating means that on your first date you are literally meeting a person for the first time. You might have chatted or emailed, but seeing a person for the first time is different. Though you’ve taken the time to get to know each other online, and this has accelerated the intimacy, you still need enough in-person encounters to verify your online impression. Many people can make the mistake of pressing for a commitment on the first or second date, and this can be an immediate put-off. Do not assume you are exclusive, and do not pressure the person to start an exclusive relationship immediately. Commitment is possible only if both of you feel the same way.
Feeling Sorry for Yourself
If you have just come out of a destructive relationship, you might be emotionally and mentally shaky. You may not be able to stop talking about this relationship. However, resist this urge to talk about your own problems, and use the time to learn more about your date. The time will come when your date will ask about your previous relationships, and you can talk about relevant issues at that time.
Talking Too Much About Yourself
No one likes a narcissist, except the narcissist. When you are on your date, do not mention your family, children, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Do not stress on previous relationships, dates, partners, lovers, children, pets, and so on, as it can be boring for your date. If your date is interested, he or she will automatically ask about your family and exes, and you can take the conversation from there. Ideally, on the first date, only talk about general topics and find out more about personality, character, and likes and dislikes of the person you are dating.
The Good News!
The good news is that you can change your dating life simply by changing these dating habits. Get out there in person and online and start meeting people! The best way to avoid these common mistakes is to approach your dating life casually, and not invest in any one potential match too deeply (or until it seems appropriate). With a little hard work and patience, you will find the person of your dreams, whether it’s for life or just the night.